Every year I am amazed by British society’s inability to cope with the realities of winter and the furore that I cause when I gently remind people that British winters are historically, geographically and climatically cold, stormy, icy and snowy.
For the past few weeks I’ve dared to flatly contradict people who welcome the mild weather, the unseasonal sunshine, the relatively high temperatures, and the lack of rain, sleet and snow.
That ruffled feathers enough.
But when the weather forecasts and media outlets started to proclaim “Britain must brace itself for danger”, “temperatures are to plummet” and “there’s a high risk of snow”, I really put my foot in it.
People on forums and in the village were getting frantic about the perils of driving in snow, about being snowed in, about running out of food, about not being able to go to work, about having the children at home because the schools were closed, and, worst of all, the inconvenience of the “extreme” weather.
Sorry folks, said I, but it’s not extreme weather. It’s called winter and it happens every year.
Well, that did it. People on a couple of forums, at the playgroup and in the shops were outraged.
Apparently, keeping a good eye on the weather should matter to me. Er, yes, it does and that means proper winter weather is welcome as that’s what the British environment is used to, it’s what the flora and fauna are adapted too, and its absence is definitely not a good thing.
I should also appreciate that people who work - apparently I don’t - will be tremendously inconvenienced and may even lose money if the snow stops them getting to their paid employment. What, so we should welcome global warming as it will do away with the nasty, inconvenient snow and we’ll all be able to attend “proper” jobs without fail?
Oh, and people will have to take days off work to care for their children should the playgroups and schools inconveniently shut.
I concede it may be a day or two’s lost wages if you don’t have an understanding employer (which may be inconvenient in terms of meeting those consumer debt repayments) but it could be quite fun to have a couple of days larking about in the snow with the kids.
Oops, I forgot. You’re not supposed to enjoy unexpected time with your children and you’re most definitely not allowed to enjoy the wintry weather.
And I must not forget that people won’t be able to go to the shop to get their fags, papers and milk. Some don’t even have the luxury of space to store much stuff for long.
Oh, please. I’ve lived in the UK for 14 years and I know that winter can mean occasional difficulties in getting about. They’re not serious difficulties by northern European and northern American standards, but they do happen.
So, you keep a little extra food in the cupboards, a little extra milk in the freezer (or even on the windowsill as the weather is cold enough that you don’t need a refrigerator), and make sure you have back-up heating and lighting - if only for a single room. And if you have animals, you stock a little extra feed for them, too.
(Mind you, I think people should make those sort of preparations and more as a matter of course, but that’s a rant for another day.)
Where was I? Oh yes, and I’m fervently told that winter makes the roads hazardous and dangerous so you can’t get anywhere or it takes you an unelievably long time.
Actually, you can go places but you might need to drive more slowly, you might need to drive more sensibly, you might need to put different tyres on your car, and you definitely should make sure your car is serviced, with the right tyre pressures and has a few bits and pieces in the boot (blanket, shovel, hessian sacks or old carpet, torch, food, water, a stove etc).
It’s not rocket science, it’s not difficult and it might take a little bit of time and preparation, but the British winter weather really isn’t that challenging most of the time. Inconvenient to the hasty, the impatient, the ill-prepared and the easily inconvenienced, but not challenging.
And as for the belief that we’re suffering extreme weather and Siberian conditions, piffle.
The storms last week were on extreme side with wind gusts in excess of 90mph, but winter gales of 50-60mph are normal, temperatures down to -5 or even -10C as you move further north or higher in altitude are normal, and snow and ice are normal.
If temperatures were to “plummet” to -20C and we had four or five feet of snow, then I would concede that’s a bit extreme for the UK and a bit of a challenge.
But there’s no sign of that and so I’m quite content to get on with life while enjoying the fact that we finally have the winter weather that we should have had weeks ago.
As for the terribly inconvenienced, they can just slide off the road into a ditch and stay there for a while in the, probably vain, hope that a little reality will do them a world of good.
Every single word you say is true Stoney, but you’re overlooking one important fact.
I’ll forgive you, as you’re a foreigner. It is the inalienable birthright, nay duty and priviledge, of every true Briton to whinge about the weather.
It is what unites our proud nation, what makes us stand out from our more stoical neighbours.
In an age when other British traditions are falling by the wayside, such as tea-drinking, playing cricket badly (although that has shown a welcome revival of late), and football hooliganism, it is more important than ever that we cherish the one thing that makes us truly British - moaning about the weather.
In the spirit of integration, I urge you to mend your ways. the next time your neighbours are complaining about the weather, you should say “I knoooow!” and “Isn’t it shocking!” and then immediately contradict yourself by mentioning that it’s not as bad as the winters of your youth, do you remember 1957 when the snow was so deep we had to leave the house through the upstairs window, mind you the trains still all ran on time, mustn’t grumble.
It always makes me laugh when people get flustered and angry at airport delays caused by bad weather. Of course, flying is a fairly minor thing, and it’s our inalieable right to fly where we want, when we want, whatever the weather. That they fail to make the link between the bad weather and the pollution caused by aviation only brings on more titters.
Mel, I’d forgotten the foreigner thing. I really do get the “what would you know about the weather anyway, it’s not as if you’re from around here”.
Bring on the blizzards.
And there was I thinking I’d told you about whinging Poms - obviously I failed you in your childhood!! Then again, you could always change the subject and talk about the extremly hot weather conditions, the bushfires and the grasshopper plagues of your youth!!! =)
Can’t agree more Stoney - made my blood boil some of the things I read, I mean, it’s not as though it’s “unseasonable”
I love winding people up about the weather actually. I’ve found something I can get on with in just about every weather condition, and when people go on about the heat/snow/rain/wind I rub my hands together and say “Yeah, isn’t it great?”
…but then I’ve been officially classed as “eccentric”…
It is somewhat hilarious to watch Britain and central suffer from “harsh” weather, like few centimeters of snow.At least from the Finnish point of view Everything stops, traffic etc.
Never heard of snow tyres? Ploughs? Jackets? Theres no wrong kinda weather, only wrong kinds of clothes.
Visit the Polar Circle sometimes.